What are you Waiting for?

What are you waiting for

You wake up and you are 60

Close your eyes at night

In fear of seeing tomorrow

Cringe at the thought of failure

Run from the sight of success

Yesterday you were in daycare

Worrying about lunchtime meals

Today you hugged your grandchild

Who smiled so sweet at you

Why do we close our eyes

Run from the future we don’t know

Why do we cringe at the thought of life

Happening to us so slow

We wait for something great to come

Always sitting by the side

We often have a several excuses

Nothing worthy of an answer

Sitting on the porch and suddenly you’re 90

Your life plays back a picture, slow and steady

As each frame passes, there is little regret

Some glimpses cause pain

Others make your heart smile

How did you make it through life not knowing

How do you find a way

What makes you different from all others

How is it you make this world your place

Today your great grandchild is born

Their path in life to come

What stories, strength and love to pass

Will you leave it to the next generation

Life isn’t about how you lived it

It’s about what you left behind

Be a story that goes on for ages

One your children begin to tell

Live each day with fullness

Ever wishing for greatness

Never settle

Never quit

Always be humble

You are living your story now

What are you waiting for

Ya, I get it Mom! Gosh.

Never let something knock you down. Even for a minute. If it happens. It is ok. It’s how you get back up. It truly is. Blah blah blah.

But I guess it’s true.

I have always told myself I will give myself five minutes to cry it out, be angry, and hate the world. Then I must jump back into action. Life is too short to live in a pity party.

I don’t know if it is from watching my family and everything they have gone through, or just something internal. When life gives you lemons, open up that lemonade stand and get money for it!

I left my job on a Thursday at 11:48 a.m. I had no plan. I had no options. I did have a car! So I got into it, and had my moment. And I mean I lost it. Like when a little kid doesn’t get their favorite toy at the store for the fifth time in a row and the world is going to end kind of lost it. And I called my mom. They always make everything better. My mom’s favorite phrase to me is “Put on your big girl panties and deal with it.” She even made me a cake once. After a little pep talk, I took action.

I’m being 100% transparent, because I want others to be able to learn from my failures and from my successes. If one sentence I write changes someone’s life for the better, then my mission in this world is complete. I have nothing to hide. This is who I am, who I will always be. Yet tomorrow, I will be even greater. 

So to continue, I got home 30 minutes later; I emailed 300 of my contacts and shared I was ready for a new opportunity. I then messaged everyone I could think of on LinkedIn and asked if they had any connections or referrals. I also applied to 40 jobs. I wasn’t going to sit around and let life happen to me. I was going to make life happen.

By that afternoon, I had a few leads on jobs and went on interviews on Friday. I was offered a job the next week. I thought to myself, “well that’s not how this works.” So I put it off.

The next week I was contacted again. My thought, “No one wants me that bad.”

Then thoughts began to fill my mind; with possibilities that life can actually go as planned once you take action. It was new for me. Life has never worked that way. I have felt for much of my working career I was working upstream. I was fighting the current. Looking back, I was growing, maturing and learning. Some lessons the hard way. This happened too easily, I thought to myself.

I’m not writing this to share with you things were just handed to me. I am sharing with you how much work you need to put into something in order to get something out. What was ‘handed to me in my mind’ was because of those 300 contacts I had grown over the last 8 years. Those I messaged on LinkedIn I have worked closely with. I have had to built integrity, kept my word and put them first. Because of that, I had an alliance that was willing to be there to help pick me back up and put me on a new track in life.

Every moment, ever decision, every thought, leads to something in your lifetime. It may not happen overnight, but at one point, you will look back and think, “this is how it is paying off.” For those times you think nothing will pay off, it s the experience itself that will teach more than you will ever need to know.

So with that I say, get back up! Get back in the fight! Get Going! The only thing you have to lose is time.

 

-KJM

It’s Go Time

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The sun sets this evening,

Something I’ve never dread.

Looking for tomorrow,

Missing what’s in my head.

If this all emptied,

Would my heart go as well?

I can’t find the answer,

My eyes begin to swell.

I need a guide, a little plan,

A roadmap for success,

Getting lost at every curve,

My cry must digress.

I pull up strength

From deep within,

I fight for justice,

I fight for the win.

Eyes wiped shut,

Ready to open anew,

Complacency can go,

Ready for this view.

I’m ready for every chance,

I’m ready for every turn,

No matter what may come,

No matter what may burn.

I will always fight for all,

Never faltering my stride.

My eyes may sometimes swell,

But my strength will outweigh my pride.

By: Kristin Marthaler

Melancholy Malarky

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Without realizing it, melancholy sets in. It doesn’t give you a warning. Doesn’t write you a memo. A secretary doesn’t call you to warn that it would be coming. It is just there. You were blindsided. Now what do you do?

First of all, find out if your life is set in a routine. Is it a good routine or bad routine? For example, as a single woman, you need to change up your schedule; when you come and go from your apartment, to ensure it is hard for someone to know your schedule. Changing up your plans, leaving at different times, can help deter stalkers or intruders. It is a lot easier for them to attack if they know your every move. Thank you Law and Order: SVU.

What is good routine? Your family gets home from work and school, you all sit down and have supper together. That is a fantastic routine, that you should keep. We’ll save that discussion for another day.

I personally believe it’s hard to get out of a routine, rut or ‘blah zone’ until you realize you are in one. After leaving my job, I spent the first day I was free, completely rearranging my furniture in the living room. It had sat the same way for a year and a half. I would constantly get, “why is your TV so far away?” Well, that is where I put it when I moved in. So, it has to be there.

But did it? Why didn’t I rearrange in the past? Was I scared of change? Lazy? What was it? 

I was in a rut. My life had become melancholy and I had gotten used to it. That first free day gave me a whole new point of view. A whole new view on my job, my personal life and my living situation.

One thing I learned, A LOT of people walk by my apartment outside. No wonder Sammy is always freaking out. I thought it was just our neighbor cat, who does it on purpose.

The second thing I learned was, it is refreshing. It was OK. I didn’t die when I did it. I didn’t have complete chaos in my life because of it. I tried something new. I happened to like it, so I am keeping it that way. For now.

Why does such a big life change, make a furniture rearranging situation such an eye opener?

Now onto my next fear, having my back to the door. I always have to sit facing the door. You know, because of the mafia.

Until next time.

– KJM

Leadership Week: Ellen Able

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This week at Tangent we are highlighting leaders that have a proven success record. Today’s leader is Ellen Able from Lakeville, Minnesota. She demonstrates and embodies what it takes to become a real leader in the community.

When she isn’t attending her children’s games, selling a home, or participating in one of her many organizations, Ellen is there supporting her friends and family.

Ellen became a licensed real estate professional in Feb of 2006 at Edina Reality. 

What defines a leader according to Ellen, “someone who is not only concerned about their job and business but always has the companies and other peoples best interested in mind as well.  Someone who is always trying to make other people better.”

This is something that is evident in Ellen’s actions each day. Most ask, how does she have time for this? She also has a great ability to make every feel they are the most important in that moment.

Words she lives by, “always treat all people equal and treat them the way you would want to be treated. Respect goes a long way.”

As some have learned, success doesn’t come easy. It isn’t handed to you. Ellen moved to Minnesota with her husband and three children 15 years ago. She knew no one in town, no friends, or family. “It was a tough transition but once we got settled, I started networking and beginning my business, and I am now one of the top 10 agents in my office.”

Determination, drive and tenacity is Ellen’s middle name.

What makes her so successful?

“My attention to detail,  the systems that I have put together to run my business ( all transactions are run the same), and the passion that I have for my clients in making sure they completely understand the whole real estate transaction that they are embarking on.”

That is why Ellen is a leader in her field.

 

*** Ellen, thank you for sharing your story. Your words will help someone else! Thank you! ***

Leadership Week: Corey Schuler

 

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This week at Tangent we are focusing on highlighting strong leaders in the community in the ti-state area. Today we introduce you to Corey Schuler of Hudson, Wisconsin.

Corey has been the Director of Metabolic Treatment Center since 2011. When he isn’t focused on his treatment center, he is volunteering in the community, taking care of his son and supporting his wife and 10 year old son.

Serving as a public figure Dr. Schuler seeks these words of wisdom, “[Don’t] always take yourself so seriously. Business is serious. Responsibilities are serious. You have to have some room in your life to play and laugh.”

Though Dr. Schuler has an extensive background including; being certified nutrition specialist and board-certified clinical nutritionist, and chiropractic doctor. He completed his masters of science in human nutrition at the University of Bridgeport and received doctoral training in behavioral health interventions through Arizona State University and completed a doctorate in botanical medicine. He is a Fellow of the American Association of Integrative Medicine (FAAIM) and currently serves in Clinical Affairs for Integrative Therapeutics and adjunct assistant professor for the School of Applied Clinical Nutrition at New York Chiropractic College. He practices integrative medicine at Hudson Headache clinic and Metabolic Treatment Center in Western Wisconsin.A leader is someone who inspires others. Leadership has very little to do with title or position, credentials or even experience. (Facebook Bio. 2016)

After all of that, he doesn’t believe titles define who you are as a leader. Leaders run into trials and tribulations along with the rest of the world. All striving to be the leading change.

“I’ve overcome my own struggles with burnout and feelings of inadequacy and just straight up insecurities about being able to do my job. As an entrepreneurial spirit, I’ve often had to suppress the “entrepreneurial seizure” as Michael Gerber describes. I’ve moved my family multiple times. We’ve lived in 6 homes in 11 years of marriage which is a significant stress that I’ve added to all the normal stresses of modern life. I have a school aged son who I try to spend as much time as possible with. Being a successful in business and as a parent is the ultimate juggling act.”

So how do you turn all of that into success?

“I’m successful in clinical practice because I am excessively persistent. When a patient isn’t getting results or is hitting a wall with their goals, I’ve got my nose in books and journals, I’m on the phone with colleagues and experts, and I’m posting questions on interdisciplinary forums to get a different perspective. That type of persistence provides similar results when it comes to running a business and building a brand.”

Even when you are wanting it the most, sometimes what matters more, is being true to yourself.

“I starting seeing the most significant success when I just started being my authentic self in everything I did. I was at a “mastermind” group with peers that were much more advanced than me and I basically didn’t fit in there. I made a few good deep connections but ultimately I didn’t take full advantage of meeting all of these great people because I was too worried about what they might think about me. Ever since then, I’ve been my best self. I was presenting with one of the biggest names in our industry. Instead of letting her lead, I jumped in where I knew my expertise would shine and let go of my fears and used the humor and presentation style I was most comfortable with rather than molding to her style. It turned out to be just great! We became instant friends and have done multiple projects since then. It solidified the idea that I had to be my best self rather than trying to be someone else or follow someone else’s path. Another thing I did that helped me be successful is reducing my reading of self-help books and reading fiction novels instead. That was a big shift for me that has proven itself effective in a myriad of ways!”

For more information about Dr. Schuler and leading by example, you can visit his website here!

 

 

*** Corey, thank you for your open and honest feedback. What you have shared will make a difference in someone’s life! ***

Leadership Week: Codi Hanson

 

12033707_10156053995625263_99818008_nThis week on the Tangent Blog we are discussing leaders and how they impact their surroundings. One of the greatest kind of leaders, are ones who lead by example. They live their life and fulfill their daily duties without expecting to be a leader or shown as a leader.

Today’s leader is Codi Hanson from Watertown, South Dakota. Codi is a mother to two children and wife to Justin. Both work at Premier Bankcard in town. Codi has worked there for 15 years, spending the last 6 years in her current position. She has become a leader in her organization, community and church.

When Codi isn’t taking her children to activities, she is volunteering at her church and in the community as well as helping her husband’s band Our Therapy.

Her words of wisdom on how she keeps going, “smile and be positive! It’s infectious!!  And it never hurts to sprinkle in some humor.”

Codi sees a leader being someone who is, “trustworthy, responsible, respectful, and dependable. Someone who steps up without being asked.”
Her definition of leadership is exactly who she is as a human being. She is there whenever she is needed, has great advice for others and wants truly the best for everyone. Success and leadership doesn’t come easy. Codi has learned, sometimes you have to be at the right place at the right time.

“Sometimes I feel so passionate about something that I don’t speak my mind at an appropriate time or place.  I have matured definitely in that aspect.”

When looking at leaders, we forget that they have struggled to get where they are as well. Things don’t come easily or get handed to everyone. They have had the same struggles and tribulations the rest of us do, in some cases, even more. One thing that makes them amazing is how they handle it and how they recover from their situations. Definitely people to learn from.

Hear why Codi believes she’s successful, “I feel successful because I’m a wife, mother of two and I hold a full time job. My children are in after school activities.  As a family we enjoy volunteering in our community.  My family is also very active in our church.  I feel my husband and I have been good examples for our children on how to lead a well rounded life.”

Her friends, family and colleagues couldn’t agree more.

 

 

*** Codi, thank you for sharing your story. Your information will help and inspire others!***

 

Leadership Week: Heidi Schooley

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The true definition of leadership; the person who leads or commands a group, organization, or country. I prefer to see it as someone who leads by example. Someone who proves to be a leader with out seeking the position.

Our first leader of the week is Heidi Schooley from Castlewood, South Dakota. She spends her evenings being a mother to three amazing children and wife to Chad, who is a farmer. When she isn’t perfecting her bow hunting skills, watching a basketball game or driving dinner out to the field, she is a business woman. She is promoting National American University in Watertown, South Dakota.

Heidi has found a way to BE National American University in town. When you see her, you know what she stands for and what she represents.

Starting as campus director in 2006, she has learned a lot of lessons along the way. She says, “each day presents new challenges, but life is full of challenges and I am here to conquer them.”

To get her through each day, she says “always do your best, and make each day count.” In her downtime, Heidi has found a true passions in connecting with Melanie Brown and Believership in Sioux Falls.

In asking Heidi what her belief of the definition of leadership is she said, “I believe that society has created “chains of command” and “titles” that outline who is and isn’t a leader.  There are tons of articles and books out there that will even tell you if you’re a “born leader”. I believe that if you are someone who is willing to serve others and always go the extra mile then you should give leadership a try.  A title doesn’t need to define you, others don’t need to define you – YOU need to define YOU and what your purpose will be.  It’s about the journey along with way and folks you come in contact with to help mentor and bring with you.”

Everyone looks at the world a different way. Heidi has been able to find her direction and path and share her beliefs and enthusiasms with everyone.

Here are her closing thoughts, “I am thankful for the opportunities that I have been given and I will continue to serve others and do my best every day.I feel blessed to do what I do and work side by side the folks that truly have a desire to help make this crazy world better.  Each day they help make life even better. I also very blessed to have a husband, Chad who helps me be a better person every day.  He is my rock.  He loves more every day, encourages and challenges me.  Along with him and our 3 B’s – Beau, Booker and Bryn, they inspire me to be the best mom ever.  And in the end, faith, family and love is what it’s all about.”
Do you know an outstanding leader? Fill out the link to highlight them!

 

***Special thank you to Heidi Schooley for sharing her thoughts and insights in what it takes to be a leader. Your message will help others!***

Raised by Best Friends

IMG_6355Your parents spend 18 years raising you. Readying you for the rest of the world. They discipline, teach hard life lessons and are your biggest fan. But what happens when you turn 18? You move out the house, start working or go to college. Who raises you then?

That is where your best friends step in. Your friends raise you. Some do an amazing job, some struggle keeping other friends healthy and alive. It’s a big role to fill, and not one we openly recognize. No one thinks when they are 5 years old, “I can’t wait to keep track of Kristin when she turns 21!” No one wants that task. I don’t even want the task of being an adult, let alone having to be in charge of someone else. It’s scary! But it happens. It’s part of nature.

Your best friends are like your parents, your biggest supporter. However, they also share with you exactly how they feel, if they are true friends. Sometimes it hurts when they say it, but you know at the end of the day they have your best interest at heart.

As I think back, it took a lot of friends to raise me. A village if you will. Some, I have been friends with for over 20 years. They still teach me life lessons, hold me accountable and make me want to be a better.

You can’t choose your parents, but you do get to choose your best friends. Here are 10 ways to know if you have a true best friend.

10. They take off your rose colored glasses.

9. They are there the second anything bad happens, to pick you up off the floor, kick whoever’s ass that hurt you, and get you back to the old you.

8. They know your drinking limit. They get prepared.

7. They motivate you and make you want to be a better human.

6. They know you have some crazy and they let it happen.

5. Regardless of when you last talked to them, you picked up right where you left off.

4. Their couch is always open.

3. They know you, they know when you are being fake and they call you on it.

2. Your significant other also dates all of them. If they don’t like them, you don’t like them.

1. They call you on your BS.

My parents did an amazing job raising me. They instilled so many great qualities, some I have taken for granted. A majority of the credit goes to them and their DNA. However, I am blessed to have some amazing best friends who have continued to raise me after I moved out.

It takes a village to raise a human.

It takes a best friend to make that life worth it.